Friday, February 7, 2014

The Flu Shot and Other Truths I Hate to Admit

I have been sick for a month. And I'm sick of it.

A cold turned into the flu turned into a sinus infection that makes my teeth hurt.

This is what I get for believing the flu shot is a government conspiracy to collect copious amounts of human data.

The problem is, I rarely get sick, and this illness snobbery has made me feel quite superior...until now.

Can you imagine if I got more than the flu? I am already shuffling around in my slippers, exhaling in loud sighs, insisting on naps and absolute quiet, leaving dirty dishes in the sink and watching too much reality television on Bravo (what's up with that Millionaire Matchmaker anyway?). I am grouchier than a traffic cop in February...or any Minnesotan right now.

I feel like the ladies in the Prego commercials who realize they've been buying the wrong pasta sauce all along. ("If I can get sick for a month, what other questionable choices have I made?")

Ooh, my husband is going to love this...

Just off the top of my head:

I was wrong about pelicans in Minnesota. They do exist!
I was wrong to love Robert Downey Jr. (Narcissist...although great actor...ok I love him again.)
I did not believe that a season of marching band would kick my butt (consider it kicked).
I was wrong to buy Cheese Nips. They are NOT the same as Cheez-Its.
I was wrong to think that aging is graceful. I can't find my waist because my boobs are hiding it now.

This is a pretty short list. I guess it's because I'm right most of the time.

Well, the real truth is I can't write about everything I am wrong about in such a public forum. We'll leave that stuff for my tell-all memoir when everyone I care about is dead...if the flu (or the government conspiracies) don't kill me first.

Heavy...loud...sigh. I need a nap.

Matthew 6:34 "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."