Thursday, December 14, 2006

Angry Liver

Welcome to Anger Management with Children. You're in for a treat as we offer all tips, tricks and wisdom to achieve patience in our dealings with little and big people. Please keep in mind that while many of my posts will offer practical advice and ideas to use right away at home or in your day care, some of them will just be for fun. Like this one:

As my first official post to Anger Management With Children, I'd like to make a confession. I've been diagnosed with an angry liver. No, it's true. Over Thanksgiving break I went to a chiropractic clinic for an eletrodermal screening. I was hooked up to a laptop, given a steel rod to hold for connectivity and then had my acupressure points tested on my hands and feet.

Conclusion? I had parasites. About half of my body systems were weakened and I was severely dehydrated. Oh, and my liver was probably causing anger and a sluggish libido. The liver metabolizes toxins, my reader said, and I was full of it... I mean, them.

I was sent home with more than $100 in multi-vitamins, active enzymes, and good gut bacteria with a follow-up check in 5 weeks to see if anything had improved.

It's been a few weeks and I haven't had my follow-up check yet. But I find that I'm not flying off the handle like I was when something didn't go right. However, I'm having very vivid dreams and feel like I'm not sleeping (the one thing that was going well for me before). Maybe the good gut bacteria I'm taking at bedtime is making war with the parasites.

I also seem to think about sex more often. Actually, I wasn't thinking about it at all before; the idea actually repulsed me. Too tired, I told myself. I have enough demands on my time, I reasoned. But it was probably just my liver.

I am drinking more water because the multi-vitamin and milk thistle drops and parasite eradicator are taken in water. I also noticed that when I drink pop, I actually feel dehydrated. Those ads from Coca-Cola about soda helping to hydrate you are rather suspect.

Oh, I still raise my voice and show impatience at times, but it's not like before when I would transform like a werewolf at the slightest threat to my well-ordered plan for the day or the socks left on the floor or the remnants of chewed up carpeting left by our 10-month-old labrador.

No, life is turning around rather nicely. And I owe it all to naturopathic medicine. Go natural and maybe you'll stop yelling at the kids.