Give Away What You Want the Most

What do you want the most in life? Is it love? Is it respect? Is it peace? Is it encouragement?

Give it to others. You will be amazed at how it all comes back to you.

Sit down sometime this weekend and jot down three to five things that you most want. In the next week, make it a practice to give those things to someone else...without expectation of return.

The return may not come to you in the same day or even the same month, but watch for it. It will come back to you.

Matthew 10:8 says "Freely you have received, freely give."

For example, if I value encouragement, then I could write a note to someone who I appreciate.

If I value forgiveness, then I could be understanding if someone is having a bad day and not on the best behavior.

If I value respect, then I could show tolerance for someone else's opinion.

And if I value love, then I could use every opportunity to display it for others, regardless of their response.

This giving could also be material. If I value a warm coat, I could provide one to someone in need. If I value a delicious meal, I could cook for someone (or buy someone dinner!).

Be creative. Write down the things you value and proceed to give them away. I'd love to hear what happens for you next!

Col 3:23

It's a New Year soon! What a great time to think about random ways to pay it forward in the next 12 months. Here is one suggestion from DailyPayitForward.com

"Wednesday December 28, 2011
The next time I pick up flowers at the supermarket, whether for my own home or as a gift for someone, as I leave, I'll pull one flower out in the parking lot and secure it under the windshield wiper of the car next to mine. As I drive away, I'll thank my Higher Power for the ability to share joy anonymously."

Also, check out Rachel's Challenge, and the essay that sparked a whole new movement to pay it forward through other high school kids like her.

One final idea: When your kids get their allowance or money from family, encourage them to put 10 percent aside for giving. If they get $10, just $1 is set aside. But that money adds up, and it's fun to let the kids decide which causes they care about. It also gets them into the habit of thinking of others with their money.

Love and light to you all!
Matthew 25

Taking Care of God's Stuff

I would die for my children…no question. If it came down to me or them, I’m hanging up my life lines. Maybe it’s because they came out of my own body, but my love for them is truly unconditional.

So why are adult relationships so darn difficult? Why do the hurts that come at the hands of siblings, parents, spouses or friends override the unconditional love meter? Why do we think and act in ways that hurt others?

I’m reminded of the one simple call of the Christian faith…love God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength…and love your neighbor as yourself.

In other words, love as Christ loves.

In theory this sounds so warm and fuzzy and wonderful. But you must picture a human man, around the age of 32, beaten and whipped to an unrecognizable pulp, forced to carry a cross, stripped almost naked, nailed on that cross, stabbed, spit on, cursed and left to die. Abandoned by even his closest friends on this earth and even feeling abandoned by God, he demonstrates in agonizing finality how Christians are to love in spite of humiliation, hatred, tragedy and betrayal.

Max Lucado shares the story of a woman who cares for her dying father despite enduring years of his sexual abuse. Her father never did apologize or acknowledge her pain, but she was by his side at the end and she realized that he was in a prison of his own making…and by forgiving him, she was free of that prison.

Society demands justice. Jesus demands love…no excuses.

When I was confirmed at 16, it is painful to realize now that I still wasn’t a Christian and wouldn’t be for many years. I had learned all the laws and rules, but didn’t understand the commitment I was really making or the personal relationship I needed to have. It wasn’t about choosing Jesus only when it suited me. It wasn’t about sitting in a church pew. It certainly wasn’t about good deeds or being “nice.” It wasn’t even about belief in God. All of that was a wonderful start, but it wasn’t even close to what was expected of me. And my life completely reflected my level of commitment and my level of love.

To follow Christ is to literally lay down your life…give it all to Him. It is no longer your own life…to pick and choose how and when you will love or even how you will live. It’s not YOUR money or YOUR talent or YOUR family or YOUR body. You and your stuff are owned by God. And if you treat God’s things as precious gifts, they will remain precious gifts. You won’t waste, abuse or neglect them. You are simply the caretaker. Will God’s gifts grow and prosper or will they wither?

"Love your neighbor” means ALL THE TIME. Because your neighbor is also God's stuff. Are you taking care of your neighbor or are you abusing, neglecting and blaming?

It’s easy to love people who love us in return. But the true life of a Christian is to love our neighbors so much that we put them and their well being and happiness before our own. We are called to give until it kills us, forgive and ask forgiveness, pray for others, ask for strength to do His will, and work behind the scenes without expectation of thanks. Because that's what Jesus did. No excuses.

A good Christian friend of mine once gave some inspired words that stick with me to this day. My life had gone about as bad as it could go and she didn’t sympathize. Being the friend she was, she simply said this:

“Suck it up, sugar.”

Suck it up. Turn around. Take care of God's stuff. It’s not too late.

Romans 6
John 13:35

What is Wicked?

My husband and I just saw "Wicked" in Minneapolis. The show affirmed for me that we feeble humans can never judge what is truly good and what is truly wicked. We have to examine the intent of every individual and the context of the situation. But we must also realize that good and evil lie within each of us and we must consciously choose the right path in every moment. When I mean right path, I mean a path that does not result in harm to us or to anyone else.

Sometimes it might seem that the right path is to be selfish, to take care of our own needs before others. Put your own air mask on and then you can help someone else, right? The problem is that we often take this idea too far. We put on our own air mask and then we suck up all the air. We take and take and take. Or someone hurts us and we think it's our right to be selfish and take what we rightly deserve.

Okay. I'm sure many of you are saying, "Wait just a minute. I give and give and give. When IS it my turn to take?"

Well, there is a difference between giving and a feeling that we are "sacrificing" for others. If we are afraid that we will never get anything back for what we give, that is a position of sacrifice. Sacrifice feels yucky and draining. It leads to resentment and more taking. But giving is a joyful position because our hearts are open. We don't need to get anything back. We are receiving joy from the giving.

How do we get to joyful giving? We must practice believing that we live in an abundant world and that everyone we meet is a member of our family. No matter their attitude or how they choose to act, we can show up with a sense of peace, gratitude and service.

Someone who appears wicked may in fact be doing good. Someone who appears good may in fact be acting wickedly. We know this. We also are not the ones to judge. We can only practice good judgment with regard to our own lives in every moment. Don't get drawn into wicked attitudes and deeds. Be fearless. Be your own person. Give with joy.

Parenting an "adult" child

Question: When is your child not your child?
Answer: Never

A beautiful woman I know just turned 30. Her life never seems to launch. She is involved in a dead-end relationship. She has used drugs and is probably still using. She loses jobs and is repeatedly homeless. Her family feels like they can't help her because she is an "adult."

If you are a parent and one of your children is in trouble, it is heart wrenching regardless of the child's age. You want to help, but may question whether you have any control to change the child's course. You might resign yourself to watching your child slowly deteriorate. You might cut off all ties because it hurts too much to witness the self-destruction. You might fear for yourself or possessions because of your child's behavior.

It struck me how Britney Spears' life played out before our eyes with a fall from grace, drug use, bad relationships. And how her father finally stepped in and said, "Enough."

Parents...if you can do anything, do it now. Go to the courts. Request restraining orders. Request custody or power of attorney. Show your child how serious the situation is and how much you care. This doesn't mean giving them money when they come around. It means offering support for them to leave an unhealthy relationship, to stop using drugs or alcohol, to get healthy and have a good life.

At the very least...send your child emails of encouragement. Send letters. Continue to reinforce the beauty inside of them by putting your heart on the line. Maybe it won't make a difference in their personal journey. But it might in yours as you keep your heart open, soft and ready to receive them.

As a song I recently listened to said, "Everything easy has its cost." It's easier to write people off who don't act as you expect. But you suffer as much as they do from a closed heart.

I wish you strength and patience as you parent an adult child who is lost. It's never too late to be the parent you always wanted to be. If they refuse you, be patient with them. You never know what impact you're making until much later.