Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

A couple months ago, a friend called for my husband. I was serving my girls some lunch and my husband was napping. When the friend asked to speak to my husband, I told him that my husband was out running errands. I fibbed.

Hearing this, my 8-year-old immediately said in a loud voice, "No, he isn't! He's home!"

Instead of realizing I was caught in a fib and making it right, I put my finger to my lips to shush my daughter. The look on her face, of shock, filled me with shame.

Later, when my husband called back his friend, I told him to tell his friend that I fibbed. And I talked to my daughter about the lie. I thanked her for reminding me that any lie is wrong, even one with good intentions. Even though I didn't want my husband disturbed, lying wasn't the solution.

Our children observe what we do and will take our actions to heart more than the words we tell them. This is a hard lesson, given that I'm a writer and spend all my time thinking about words. How I live my life and model to others is so much more important.

Think about how you act around your children, and how you interact with others. Do you grump at other drivers on the highway? Do you gossip in front of your kids? Do you throw litter out the window? Do you treat salespeople rudely? Do you do anything in your life right now that would put you to shame if your children knew...if they understood that your words and guidance for them don't apply to your actions?

If the mama or papa duck is swimming in circles, how will the ducklings learn to swim?

The other day I heard my youngest daughter singing about God. I have been listening a lot to a Christian radio station in the car. I used to listen to pop music, and my daughter used to talk about being a rock star. Now she wants to be a veterinarian. Amazing what a change in modeling can do for our kids.

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